no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
