i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
