it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize