We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
