So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
