Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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