Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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