"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Acid is not a monday night drug
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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