Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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