If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
