Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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