got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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