I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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