Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
