no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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