I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize