when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
