I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
