I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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