I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
