he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
