i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
