I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
