she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.