i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
