whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
