i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
