You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
