we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
