elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
