No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
