I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Be still, my beating vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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