When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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