R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
