Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
