at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
