i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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