I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
