UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
