It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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