I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Still dying that you shit outside
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
