Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
