I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
