Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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