are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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