bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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