yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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