Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
