Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize