People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
