it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
