so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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