I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
