we're blogging at a bar
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
