it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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