she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I smell like Dick and happiness
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
