Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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