Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do herpes really smell.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
