is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
