If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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